It's All For the Kids

Here in Cali it's the annual tax season for parents with school aged children. Thanks to Prop 13, we don't pay on April 15; we pay all year round via raffles, book fairs, and fundraiser auctions so that our children can have luxuries like libraries, music and art. (Yes, that's sarcasm you're hearing in the pixels.)

This weekend is our local elementary school's big event - the annual auction. Along with goods and services donated by local merchants, parents band together to host a slew of themed parties that other groups of parents bid on, during an evening at the Sequoyah Country Club (our motto? "no denim!") where no one is busier than the bartender or more exhausted looking than the Auction chair.

In the past we've helped host an Italian dinner and a "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" night of Improv comedy. This year a friend came up with a brilliant plan: "Tiptoe through TV Land." It's going to be a progressive cocktail party through our neighborhood, with the following stops:
1.) Survivor: if you can scale our friend's 45 degree angle driveway, you'll be greeted with gummy worms and a food challenge. Don't worry, vodka kills all the germs.
2.) Madmen: guests will be greeted with bubble gum cigarettes (or real ones, depending on how harrowing the Survivor house is) and martinis, along with a hostess wearing an underwire from the 1960s. Careful she doesn't put your eye out!
3.) Top Chef: the group will be split into teams to do some sort of food challenge involving Twinkies and Sno-balls. When faux Padma says "Pack your knives," it's time to bring it on over to the last stop:
4.) Glee. Yes of course that's us, hosting the final stop and forcing guests to work out a Vocal Adrenaline-worthy dance act. Although three stops into the evening, my expectations are not high. Grape slushees to the face have not been ruled out for the losers.

This Friday we'll be out drumming up excitement, or derision, for the event during the car pool dropoff time. Look for Sue Sylvester, Betty Draper, Padma Lakshmi and an Australian medic cracking themselves up at 7:45 a.m.

And for those of you who don't have the good fortune to have to underwrite your kid's education quite so desperately, feel free to borrow and build on the theme for your 2010 entertaining schedule.