I Never Expected To Be This Broad

I  have a slight acquaintance with a man who is a knot expert, one of the leading thinkers about knots in the entire world. He teaches knot theory in the math department of a top university, and his office is hung with samples of sailor knots, artfully mounted and framed. Once I came across a knot at a flea market, attached to a wooden plaque, intricate and heavy and the size of a loaf of rosemary foccacia. At the last minute I decided not to buy it for him, worried it might seem a bit overfriendly. The next time I ran into him I mentioned having seen such a knot for sale. He sighed and said, "I already have that one."

There was a time that I too seemed slated for specialization. In high school I realized that my affinity for foreign languages, lust for travel, and fear of poverty made me a shoo-in for a career in international business. I earned both an undergraduate and graduate degree in the subject and spent about ten years in what my resume will tell you were "positions of increasing responsibility" in international marketing and product development, getting a more nuanced understanding of the challenges of cross-cultural business success.

Then I had kids. Then I realized that my favorite part of international business had become writing up long reports for my bosses, filled with superfluous anecdotes about the people and cultures I'd visited, and light on terms like EBITDA and IRR. Great if you aspire to be Mark Twain, not so much if you aspire to be George Soros. 

Thus followed a major mid-life career change which has broadened and flattened my skill set like a pancake. Here is a partial list of things at which I've become merely proficient in the past five years:

1. Technical Support: I am the go-to gal for my own home office tech setup as well as everyone else's iPod, iPad, and laptop. I have a success rate of about 53% at fixing computer glitches. The rest of the time I just say, "Try to reboot it. I'm going to read in bed for awhile."
2. Hairstyling: Trimming bangs and split ends over the sink is what I'm known for, which is good because it is the only cut I can do. If I had a son, he'd probably have a bowl cut.
3. Stage Mothering: On Saturday I learned for the first time that ballet dancers on pointe are not standing on the pads of their toes inside those shiny shoes as I had always assumed, but actually on the tips of their toes. After 1.5 years of trying, the ballet teacher last week told my youngest daughter that Mommy almost had the hair bun right. (See No. 2 above.)
4. Veterinary Services: I can remove ticks with only a little bit of gagging.
5. Plumbing: I can sometimes get the long hair gunge left by three females in our family off of the bathroom drain, using a white plastic hooky thing my husband bought me. Mostly I just wait for him to get frustrated.
6. Urban Farming: Every spring I plant the garden with seedlings and high hopes, and reliably harvest a dozen tomatoes and one artichoke. 
7. Team Cow Penning: With my sister, I can separate three cattle from a herd and get them into a pen at the center of the corral while riding horseback. Cowgirl Camp ruled.

Of the skills above, Team Cow Penning is the only one I'd really care to get better at. But there's a limited market for it.

I supposed it would be nice to be recognized as an expert in something rather than as a Jill of Some Trades. But the benefit of this broad worldview is that by now I've learned that is nothing I can't do, in at least a half-assed fashion.

I may not know knots. But I can bake you a pretzel and tie your shoe, and sometimes that's plenty.