Thursday, March 31, 2011

The pull of going home

I'm going home this weekend - to see my mom and dad, catch up with my sister and brother, and see neighbors and friends in the town where I spent my first 18 years. I'll eat some bagels, visit the the local tavern with my brother, take my aunt out for a belated birthday lunch, and go to a big Family Camp reunion. I can't wait.

I'm leaving home this weekend - leaving Andrew and the girls, my own bed, my spazzy dog, and some  overdue warm California weather after a long winter. I'm missing a dinner party, neglecting my poor drowned garden again, worrying about leaving the kids who have been sniffling and coughing for a week straight. I'm dreading leaving.

Here's something about being a grown up that no one ever told me. As much as I adore being with my husband and children in the home we've made: it's pretty much the same amount that I miss being with my parents and siblings 3,000 miles away. It's not a deficit but a surfeit of love and longing. Maybe it's different if you live in the same area code as your parents, but maybe not; for people like me who were blessed to grow up in a close and loving family, there is always a pull to return, no matter how happy our adult lives are.

So my song for this week is a melancholy Teddy Thompson ballad called "Home" in which he has the whole situation nailed. As he explains in his lyrics, you go home to see your parents who will feed you, do your laundry, and fuss over you, and you love it. Right up until the minute when you're ready to go home again. I'll be heartsick missing my family while I'm home visiting my family this weekend, and just as soon as I'm back in Cali, I'll be wishing I could spend more time in New York.

Here's hoping that you feel at home wherever you are in the world this weekend, friends -


  1. I couldn't have said it better. People sometimes lift an eyebrow when I tell them the girls and I spend almost all of our summer back in Michigan but you explain it perfectly. I miss my family and I feel the girls get a "proper" summer there. Sparklers are okay on the 4th, bonfires on Lake Michigan, lots of cousin time and most of all, no schedule. Just hanging out and being a kid. Enjoy your time away. It's precious. Louisa

  2. Beautifully put, I share that torn feeling with you, having transplanted here from PA nearly 3 years ago, leaving my family behind. Loved the song, too, but my anthem for this emotion is the more upbeat Dying Day by Brandi Carlile -

    Have a great trip home!

  3. An intriguing melody. Thank you for that Thompson ballad. Not having had a real sense of "home" for at least five or so years now, I yearn for a sense of home anywhere on the planet. Music sometimes says it better than words.

  4. Heart Touching article.Its true that as much we adore to stay with our husband and children, we miss our parents too.Both relations have their own weightage.The only thing we need to do is to balance them so that we can maintain the relationship.Relation is a very important thing for all of us.

  5. You may have already seen this when it was going around, but I love this version of another Home song...


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